​BDSM: DOMINANT AND SUBMISSIVE

To many people, sadomasochism rings to a strange sexual perversion, something far away from their likings. But, then one day, the less expected, someone asks them to hit them in bed. After the first slap, they find out certain pleasure. There’s a long path from that first step to the code and more complex personal relationships. The path of a sadist.

07 April 2017  - 
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​BDSM: DOMINANT AND SUBMISSIVE

Although BDSM is present in the list of sexual services of the best escorts in Barcelona, we shouldn’t forget that it’s much more than just a fantasy.

Some people initiate in bondage and sadomasochism accidentaly, others do it deliberately. Escorts offer soft, mild or hard BDSM. However, only the last one is able to turn your life upside down.

To many people, sadomasochism rings to a strange sexual perversion, something far away from their likings. But, then one day, the less expected, someone asks them to hit them in bed. After the first slap, they find out certain pleasure. There’s a long path from that first step to the code and more complex personal relationships. The path of a sadist.

Why do I like humiliating?

If you have already been involved in a situation where you find pleasurable to humiliate or hurt your partner in the less expected way, it means you have a little sadist inside you.

We have asked one of the clients of La Vie en Rose about the weird pleasure he finds in a BDSM session with an escort. “I like dominating the escort. I adopt the sadist role. It hasn’t a good reputation, they think you are crazy and enjoy hurting the others, but it isn’t so. In BDSM, everything works with a code agreed with the submissive. There’s nothing left to chance. I humiliate her because she lets me do it. So, I’m a sadist only to a certain extent.”

Some psychologists associate the sexual excitation through the others’ humiliation with a way of revenge. They probably suffered abuse when they were little children, so this might be a way to hit back. Other experts, however, associate sadism with a daring game, with the eager for experimenting and finding out new sensations.

Ending a tortuous relationship, whether you are heartbroken or guilty for ending it, can be the cause for finding pleasure in humiliating and hurting someone. Feeling physically powerful, with an obvious physical control over the escort. This may be the way to be in peace, finally.

A codependent relationship

The sadist feels superior to the escort. They may treat her hardly, practice water sports or give her any order. However, they aren’t superior regarding their relationship with the submissive. No practice would be made without her prior consent.

The same as voyeurists, who usually marry exhibitionists, sadists need their submissive; dominatrices their slave. It’s a two people game, there isn’t fun without a prior agreement.

Some escorts who practice hard BDSM can have relationships with their slaves that last for years. At first, according to what an escort specialized in BDSM practices has told us, “you have to get to know each other. There are many ways of settling a BDSM relationship with a man that don’t necessarily involve sex, or pain. Sometimes, it’s more psychological, it’s a mistress-slave codependent relationship, strong and necessary for both sides.”

According to this escort, there are men who only want to buy her expensive things. Handbags, parfums, dresses or jewelry take part in this sadomasochist relationship. The dominatrix won’t show affection, nor gratitude for it; she will stick to give orders and instructions, so her slave makes the impossible to satisfy her in a material way.

The sexual fetish

In other BDSM pairs, the relationship implies a physical contact, although many times it’s humiliant and doesn’t include sex. Somehow, touching or enjoying the body of the mistress or master would break the agreed game.

That’s why they will stick to do twisted things. During BDSM sessions, it’s possible to include tortures like nipple clamps, chains and weights on the testicles, whipping, insults, urolagnia, masks and even asphyxiation.

The general term for it is BDSM, which includes bondage and sadomasochism. Bondage refers to the practice of sexual excitation through the use of ropes and chains to tie and immobilize the submissive.

Actually, one thing can exist without the other but both practices commonly join, assuming that the pairs who tie themselves also humiliate each other and vice versa.

The importance of the code

The establishment of codes and keywords to communicate without breaking the fantasy is highly recommended in BDSM world. A gesture, a syllable, or a move will be enough to get the humiliation to a higher level, or the opposite, to low down the tension.

Sometimes, according to the opinion of our sadist client, “it can result a very intense session and one can approach the limit that the submissive escort isn’t ready to reach. So, not to ruin the game, you must have agreed words or gestures to low down the intensity or stop at the right time. Although we are having sadomasochism, things aren’t the way we want, your partner also counts, so everything works right and both enjoy it. One enjoys humiliating, and the other one being humiliated.”

The complex human sexuality

Quite surely, the human sexuality is the most complex in the world. There isn’t a species on Earth that has given sex the importance we give to it. We've given sex the attributes of our mind.

Complex, unpredictable, dark, too. The human mind reflects in the complexity of sex. Its abundance of subtleties makes of it one of the favorite practices of people, both looking for love, or trying to redeem from their guiltiness.

Although BDSM world is fascinating, it’s still incomprehensible and despicable to many. To others, this is their whole life, what they are expecting to arrive during the whole week, what they make them feel alive.

But, let’s be realistic, sadomasochism isn’t for everyone. Or, perhaps it is.

07 April 2017  - 
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